Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,handsome, talented or fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not save the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinkingso that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of god within usIt is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously giveother people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated form our fear, our presence automaticallyliberates others.
Marianne Williamson

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It has been a very busy fall.

Conversations and cafes have been happening. They have not been happening publicly (in the broad sense) - but rather within conferences. I

have done a number of world cafes. Two of them were with Tammy Decarie as part of workshops. Both of them were about looking differently at partnerships. They were about looking at how ready we are personally to move into being partners in new ways. One was with folks from the Family Support Institute of Ontario (FSIO) and the other with Building Equitable Partnerships.

I also had Mandy come to facilitate a world cafe for parent activists and agency staff involved with the Families Are Important Resources project. We talked about how do we be the change we want to see.

That is an interesting question. One that I hope we explore together in public spaces in the coming year.

Community Conversation: A Teleconference

These paper boats of mine are meant to dance on the ripples of hours, and not reach any destination.
Rabindranath Tagore

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Today we sat at a phone in my office to “participate” in a learning environment about community conversations. We learned MUCH (about what not to do). Here is what we learned:

1) Conversations are not passive;
The ironic thing was that as the two hosts were sharing this tidbit of information the rest of us were all on mute.
2) Engaging in conversations can positively affect your life, and they measured it;
We believe that participating in a conversation is a relationship for 2 hours that stimulates people, who can walk away and share with others. It is the ripples. To think it is measurable is …
3) They felt that leaders do not need to get smarter or work harder we need to have more conversations and keep having them over time.
We believe it is about communities make change and question where authentic power truly lies.

The two moderators shared their favourite conversation techniques:

1) Reflective panel: 3-5 practionners/leaders with an animator who participate in a discussion to 100 people in the audience. The first presenter speaks to the moderator’s question and then asks the next person on the panel and so on until it goes back to the moderator. The moderator then asks the audience who are at round tables. Each group discusses the question from the moderator and by the panelists. At the end of time, some one from each table reports back into the moderator.
(They worked with the panelists first to work out the questions.)

2) POP 100 exercise: Facilitator works with a group to identify 100 people that if they were in a room together and came to an agreement something in the community would change. They like to identify names across categories to have a full inclusion of perspectives in that one ideal conversation.

So we move away from this version of a conversation more resolute in our own approach.

How ready are we? An honest look at partnerships

Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Winston Churchill

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This past week saw the first conference of the newly recreated Family Support Institute of Ontario (FSIO). One of the workshops was co-facilitated by Tammy Decarié, Early Years Health Promoter at Queen West Community Health Centre and I, Coordinator of Families Are Important Resources at Family Service Toronto.

We used World Café to explore some of the things that Tammy and I have identified as being key ingredients to the success of our partnership work. Those components were discussed under specific questions at each table. The question was “Thinking about the partnership you are in, or want to start, what’s needed to move to a place of passion? Or innovation? Or interdependence? Or action?”

The buzz in the room was great. People were ready to dialogue about what their own personal experiences were with partnerships. They shared examples of how well they were working together, what challenges existed to working more effectively and what dreams they had for better partnerships.

More than anything, they shared their readiness to connect and explore.

It left me thinking about the great examples of how World Café is being used around the world by corporations and wondering why it is that we in the not-for-profit sector have not begun to use dialogue as a place of agency and community transformation. I am wondering if it is the same thing that keeps many oppressed people from being more civically engaged. If all my energy is spent getting resources to try and pay the bills and I still live in a dump, how can I advocate for......

Notes from the workshop will be posted here by the end of this week.

Dialogue and Politics

"Millions of people are suffering: they want to be loved but they don't know how to love. And love cannot exist as a monologue; it is a dialogue, a very harmonious dialogue." - Osho

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When I was first in university a couple of decades ago, there was something that rated higher than partying for the young women in residence with me – well at least it on the weekdays. That was rushing home from class to turn on the Canadian Parliamentary Channel to watch what had been going on in the House of Commons. More often than not we were quickly engaged in a witty exchange between great thinkers that showed respect for each other regardless of what side of the issues they were on.

There was an understanding that everyone was there to do an important job and more significantly there was encouragement. And yes sometimes taunting that called each other to be the best. I remember in particular the sparkle in Pierre Trudeau’s eyes as he used the best of his charisma and evident caring for Joe Clarke to egg him to come out from underneath that bushel and let his little light shine.

I don’t remember the issue of the day that had them all in heated debate. I do remember feeling a sense of awe at what it meant to be a gentleman and a scholar. Sure, we might be able to say that it was an old boys’ club where the white privileged male could spit shine his higher education and spar in the elitist way that the Greeks had done; but then again, it was honest dialogue with a passion for building a strong nation and not messages crafted by skilled spin doctors spit out by elected officials to mask profits and deceit.

I wonder where dialogue has gone in politics.

Summary Notes: Are you ready to take the plunge?

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

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One of the things that captured my attention in this conversation was that risk is contradictory. There seems to be a line between the things that we are frightened of doing and the risks that embody what it means for us to be intuitive and natural, adventurous, true to our principles or authoring our own lives. A distinction that on first glance is not easy to decipher.

What is it that makes riding roller coasters a thrill that is joyfully pursued during summer vacations by our guest speaker, Michele, yet keeps her off of her apartment balcony because it is too high? Isn't height part of the attraction to riding roller coasters?

The stories shared of life altering moments were varied and spanned several decades and continents. They mirrored the contradiction where actions we took in our lives that were life changing somehow did not seem to fit with the places and times we felt fear or out of our comfort zone. For many of us, it was true that in the moment of living we did not take the actions with risk taking in mind. More often than not it was because that moment was true for us. It was simply the right thing to do. It was upon personal reflection or having the moment named by someone else that the identity of self as risk taker was considered. Our guest shared that for her being politically active and being engaged in protest was intuitive and natural and that many of the things people named as examples of her being a risk taker were merely times when she was living her life in a way that fit best.

It was iteresting that for many this shifts dramatically in the workplace or other such institutional settings. Somehow the reality of someone else monitoring and evaluating our actions and we become more self conscious and aware that the actions we take, or dream of taking, are risky rather than adventurous. In many instances of risk taking in the work place, people had developed personal strategies for how to best package and deliver the risk taking we were inviting others to join us in.

Maybe a life worth living needs to embrace 100 words for the word risk to fully capture the complex lives we each live and the way we approach doing that authentically.

Maybe a institution becomes more authentic when its ability to be a risk taker and create a safe environment for adventurous creative thoughts and actions outweighs its need to cautiously measure its success.

The Human Right to Dialogue

In a true dialogue, both sides are willing to change. We have to appreciate that truth can be received from outside of – not only within – our own group… We have to believe that by engaging in dialogue with another person, we have the possibility of making a change within ourselves, that we can become deeper.
Thich Nhat Hanh

The launch of the 29th modern Olympic Games in Beijing on
August 8th has me pondering the glaring dialogic contrasts between two ancient cultures, the Chinese and the Greeks.

The practice of dialogue stems from the Greeks, specifically Greek philosophers Socrates and Plato. Their novel concept of dialogic exposition was practiced through a series of answers and questions between individuals. This practice later evolved into the art of debate. The simple purpose of dialogue was to ascertain truth. Socrates advocated for dialogical practices that stressed the importance of reciprocal and reflective questions and conversation that supported new questions and ways of viewing and knowing the world.

China, while welcoming the world to celebrate the Olympic tradition, does not abide by the Platonic practice of dialogue as synonymous with truth. Modern China has and continues to suppress dialogue on critical issues such as Chinese human, political, environmental, and religious rights. Two glaring examples that spring to mind include the Falun Gong movement and Tibet. Anti-Chinese thoughts, dialogues and actions regarding the aforementioned examples by Chinese citizens and occassionally international protesters have resulted not only in censorship of Internet access but meaningless violence. The Chinese approach to dialogue is congruous not with truth but suppression and censorship.

As I continue to watch and marvel at the sheer strength and spirit of all Olympic participants I remain vexed by the undermining of the Greek dialogic spirit.

NEXT CONVERSATION: August 21st from 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. at Ralph Thornton Centre - Are you ready to take the plunge?

The next community conversation is "Are you ready to take the plunge into community engagement?"

Some people take risks like bungee jumping. Some of us simply think about getting up off our couch and going for a coffee. What risks are you willing to take to be more engaged in your community?

Guest speaker: Michele Lupa is a single mother, feminist and community leader. In her role as executive director of EYET, she takes risks that match the courage she shows in her personal life.

Moderator: Shokofeh Dilmaghani is passionate about work that engaging with the system to address issues of building healthier communities and increasing access for newcomers – in particular Iranian youth.

We invite you to come and check out a conversation cafe. There is no reason to register for the event unless you simply want to let us know you are coming. We hope to have a full house.

If you require care for a child while you attend this event, please be sure to connect with Deborah at deborahko@familyservicetoronto.com or by phone at 416-595-9230 ext. 322.

See you at Ralph Thornton Centre.

Summary notes: Who needs to be ready for inclusion to happen?

There is a quality even meaner than outright ugliness or disorder, and this meaner quality is the dishonest mask of pretended order, achieved by ignoring or suppressing the real order that is struggling to exist and to be served. Jane Jacobs

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Something that stood out for me in this conversation was a comment made by one person that communities don't want to be engaged, consulted or included. They just want to get things done. This began a lively discussion about a movement toward "Let's just do it."

Our guest speaker, Sandra, shared a story about an event that occurred in a downtown Toronto community. Within this community, there was a barrage of hold ups that were occurring – all against food delivery people. These robberies were happening at particular buildings. The community was of course concerned and the service providers sprang into action. After meetings and following of processes, metal signs were ordered giving community the number for police and encouraging them to report all crimes. After paying for a city employee to put them up there was no change in the occurrence of robberies.

Within that same building there was a drop-in space for youth. They got fed up with the whole polite response. They knew that within the community people knew the police number and they knew the individuals that were committing the robberies. That was not the issue. The truth was people were afraid. The young women decided they were not waiting for any one else to make a change in their community. They knew they had to take matters into their hands. And their actions were successful.

What did they do?

They made a simple sign that said something like, "We know who you little @$$*(#^$ are. Knock it off or we are telling the police."

The community had the capacity and knowledge of how to best deal with the issue. In some ways, they just needed people to get out of their way and let them do it.

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The first of our Conversation cafés was held at the 519 Church St. Community Centre on July 29th. Guest speaker was Sandra Costain, community worker and activist and the discussion was moderated by Tammy Décarie, health promoter.

Welcome

In a true dialogue, both sides are willing to
change. We have to appreciate that truth can be received from outside of – not only within – our own group… We have to believe that by engaging in dialogue with another person, we have the possibility of making a change within ourselves, that we can become
deeper. Thich Nhat Hanh

Welcome to our conversation blog!

Our goal is to promote a space where dialogue and public conversation encourage learning, social activism and community. We envision a space where conversations can:
· Initiate both critical questions and critical listening
· Support a counter-hegemonic culture and provide an opportunity for learning, action, change and praxis both individually and communally.
· Inspire the age old practice of rational (and maybe sometimes not so rational) debate
· Reduce the influence of modern technology and media so that we do not blindly consume what is offered by the mainstream but rather use critical thought and individual choice to direct our lives.

In the spirit of learning, we will post a weekly blurb about various dialogue and conversational practices and their impact on social change and activism in their communities. We encourage you to share your ideas on these posts. It is with the exchange of thoughts and opinions that exciting learning can take place.

Deborah and I were both inspired to pursue the possibilities of public conversation by the conversational program at Concordia University, University of the Streets Café. The University of the Street Café holds regular conversations in cafés in Montreal exploring topics that range from sexuality to the environment to immigration and arts and culture to name but a few. Deborah and I seek to launch a similar monthly conversational café program in October in conjunction with the Toronto Community Development Institute. We hope that you will join us live to converse and explore some critical questions. Details will follow in September!

We invite you to share your public conversations with us. If you are hosting a conversation or know of one that is taking place, please let us know. We will happily post the details of other public conversations that are happening in the city.

We will also host online conversations using the chat feature available on blogspot. Please check in with us again so you can learn how to do this and find out when those online conversations will begin.